Wishes and Old Scars
by Sarcasmcat
Summary: Kai laments over past wounds, past love, and wishing it would return again to his life. And dinner with friends. Yaoi KaixTala Oneshot


Disclaimer: I don't own it.

A/N: I keep getting these ideas that pop up out of the blue. This is one of them. Well, that's all I have to say. Read, Enjoy and review.

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Is there actually an emotion called love? I'm at a loss to say it actually exists. Everyday millions of people use the single, simple four-letter word. Day by day, the meaning of that word is degraded until it is nothing but a shadow of its self. Love is an overused word. People proclaim love in a pointless ceremony, only to go their separated ways in three months.

Last I checked families were based on love. Although, I may be mistaken. Parents separate, leaving their children feeling guilty; thinking it was their fault. I have no memories of my parents. Cold stone walls and endless hallways make up my early memories. And of course, him. Voltaire Hiwatari.

That man made my life a living hell and turned me into what I am now. Because on him, I'm mentally, emotionally and physically scarred. I have lost almost all ability to feel emotions. Gaining my trust is nearly impossible, and my back is almost entirely covered in scar tissue. In his attempts to create a perfect blader he instead created me. An emotionless, heartless bastard.

When I joined the Bladebreakers, I was alone, the outsider. They all had people that cared for them, even loved them. I always felt a slight pang when they expressed their feelings. The only time I ever felt any love was in my sleep. Then, long forgotten memories would come, a flash of red, a feeling of belonging. When the Russian tournament came along, my life took a sharp turn.

When we first arrived in Russia, something was brushing against my mind, trying to prod me in some unknown direction. Things finally started to fall in place when we were invited to lunch at Balcov Abbey. The cold building and stone walls stirred slight memories. Something about the Abbey seemed familiar.

I do feel bad about betraying my friends, despite popular belief. But, I had too. I didn't just do it for power. I did it for someone I couldn't remember. Someone that made me feel loved for once. When I finally came face to face with the person in my dreams I was shocked.

I've strayed from my original thoughts. This is as good as any place to stop. I will leave you with this last bit though. The only upside I can se, is that the one person I truly love and trust has gone through the same hell I have and accepts me for who I am. He has shown me, how to express emotion again, which is rather ironic because he's had all the same training I had.

Kai looked down at the neat cursive that mocked him from its resting-place. He folded the paper several times before ripping it into pieces. The paper fluttered into the garbage can fluttering like small white birds. He got to his feet and moved to the balcony, opening the dark curtains. He opened the sliding door slightly; reveling in the chill breeze that came through the screen. The room was almost completely silent, the only sound being the sound of a running shower. Even that simple sound faded, leaving the luxurious penthouse in complete silence.

The bathroom door opened, throwing a rectangle of light into the darkened room. Soft footsteps neared the balcony, trying not to disturb the slate haired figured. Kai shivered as, damp, warm fingers brushed over his scars. A warm arm slid around his waist, hand, resting flat against the unmarred velvet skin and hard muscle, so very different from the back.

"Been writing again?" The voice was soft and silky, soothing to stressed nerves. Kai nodded, not looking at his lover. They both looked out over the city, lights in the distance glittering like fallen stars. "Are you okay?" Kai just nodded again, eyes focused on the darkness outside of the room.

Slim fingers started roaming, brushing over familiar territory. Tala didn't know how many times he had done this. Every inch of Kai's lithe body was burned into his mind. Every dip, hollow, line was his and his alone. Kai wriggled slightly, as fingers brushed over the scars on his back. They were highly sensitized. Even the slightest brush would cause him to shiver. The Russian smiled and wrapped his other arm around the slate haired blader, drawing the lean body against his. "Are you sure?" 

Kai shook his head eyes closed in pain. "I shouldn't have been writing. It brought everything back." Tala pulled Kai closer, trying to ease the pain. Kai was unfortunately blessed, or cursed as he saw it, with a mind that could forget nothing. Writing was the only thing that helped, but at times it dragged every pain back to the surface. Only severe trauma was enough to subdue the memories, like when he had destroyed half of the Abbey. 

Kai leaned his head against Tala's neck, taking comfort from the warm body. "Do you want me to call the others and cancel for tonight?" Kai shook his head, lips brushing against the redhead's neck. "No. It might help." Tala tipped the slate head up, brushing a gentle kiss over his lover's lips. "Go take a shower, love. I'll get your stuff."

*****

The first thing they saw when they got near their table was a long, ebony braid that nearly touched the floor. Kai and Tala moved forward, not making a sound. Tala reached out, fingers wrapping around the slim, tan neck. The raven-haired blader jumped to his feet and turned golden eyes wide with shock. "What the hell was that for? You two and Bryan are the only people that can sneak up on me!" Tala and Kai smiled and sat down across from the neko-jin.

"Living at the Abbey will do that to you. Speaking of Bryan, where is he?" A glass of clear liquid was set down in front of the redheaded Russian. "Right here." Bryan set down the other three drinks in front of their respective drinkers before sitting down beside Rei. "How have you two been?" The lavender haired Russian shrugged, being his normal talkative self. Rei just shook his head and smiled, fangs glinting in the low light. 

"He had an off day." Kai swirled his drink in the glass and took a sip; keenly aware of the golden eyes focused on him. He set the glass back down and locked eyes with Rei. "Yes?" Rei didn't answer, instead stretched across the table, fingers brushing across the bare cheek. "Are you okay?" Kai just nodded, trying to keep from snapping at Rei.

He and Rei had gotten involved with each other slightly after the Asian tournament. It had lasted until shortly after he had rejoined the Bladebreakers, when Kai's memory had come back and he had found Tala. Rei and Kai had stayed close friends and were more like brothers than anything. When the Bladebreakers had broken up, Kai had drifted away from Tyson, Max and Kenny, but Rei had practically threatened him with bodily harm if he lost contact. So when Rei had moved into the same town as Kai and Tala, the three of them had gotten together and sat around until all hours of the morning.

The get-togethers had become weekly affairs. Later that year Bryan had moved into the same town and joined them. Rei had been wary around the Russian for some time. Even after four years not all the memories were faded to the point of not being painful. But the moonlight eyed Russian stayed away from Rei, giving the neko-jin time to adjust to his presence. Slowly things had gotten better between the two.

Tala smiled at Rei, eyes glowing with humor. "Don't worry Rei, that's the third time he's been asked that in two hours. I'm surprised I 'm still alive." Kai just "hned" at his lover's comment and Bryan smirked. Their food arrived and they fell into a comfortable silence, the only sound at their table the slight clacking of silverware on china. Rei was the first to break the silence. "Kai, guess what?" Kai cocked one slate eyebrow, silently questioning. "Tyson and Max finally moved in together."

"Took them long enough." Was Kai's only answer before taking a sip of his drink. Bryan's eyes shifted between the other two Russians, lips curling into a smirk. "I don't think you should be talking Kai. How long did it take you and Tala to move in together? Two years was it?" Pale skin stained crimson as the two blushed. The gold-eyed neko-jin started laughing, accidentally disturbing the other diners.

Tala pushed his empty plate to the center of the table, blue eyes closed in contentment. "So what now?" Rei glanced down at his watch quickly before raising his head to meet now open blue eyes. He nodded slightly, smiling to himself. Kai noticed the silent exchange, suddenly worried. "And what are you two planning now?" Tala just shrugged and pulled his wallet out, extracting a twenty. He tossed it on to the table and patiently waited for the others to pay.

*****

Rei slid through the crowd with feline grace, bottle in one hand, four glasses in the other. He set the glasses down and pulled the stopper out of the bottle, pouring some into each glass. "How did you manage to get a whole bottle?" He took a sip before answering. "I know the bartender. He owed me." The three Russians shook their heads, amazed by the links the innocent seeming neko-jin had. The bar around them was crowded despite the fact that it was a Wednesday night. It may have been years since the World Tournament in Russia, but people still recognized all four of them. It turned out to he handy. Not many people were willing to mess with people who had been part of a plot to take over the world.

Tala, thinking that he had seen a co-worker excused himself, leaving the other two Russians and the neko-jin alone. Kai was staring into his drink, periodically swirling the liquid when the sound of a low rumbling broke through his thoughts. He looked across the table, actually smiling for the first time that day. Rei was purring.

Rei had fallen asleep, head pillowed on Bryan's shoulder. The ebony and lavender strands ran together, the lavender almost white against the dark velvet. Moonlight and mahogany met, the darker eyes silently mocking the lighter. "You know, he only does that when he's really content." Bryan stood, carefully cradling the Chinese blader to his chest. "You're just pissed because of dinner. I'll take him home." Kai nodded, swirling the liquid in his glass before taking a drink. "Whose place are we at next week?" The Russian blader started through the crowd, his cold demeanor seeming to clear a path. "Mine."

Tala returned just in time to see the two bladers disappear into the crowd. He curled up next to Kai on the seat, head resting on the black shirt, hand drawing patterns on Kai's leg. "Do you think something's going on between those two?" Kai leaned forward slightly, refilling his glass. "I wouldn't be surprised. Rei's always gone after the cold ones." Tala grabbed the glass from Kai's hand and downed it, ignoring the glare from the other Russian. "Let's go."

*****

The elevator to the penthouse started its ascent smoothly, making the rising motion almost non-existent. "Feeling better?" Kai turned on Tala, eyes darker then normal. One hand slid under the redhead's shirt, caressing the pale skin. The second hand made its way to the slim neck, lightly brushing over the veins. "You have no idea how much better I feel." The hand under his shirt started roaming, gently brushing over the sensitized skin. The hand at his neck moved up, tangling in the soft red strands, drawing the other blader closer. Soft lips brushed over his, once, twice, before gently catching them. Kai flicked his tongue against Tala's lips, teasing him. The elevator door opened, drawing the two Russians apart. They walked into the foyer, trading caresses. The ornate wooden door gently swung shut, sealing the two off from the outside world.

The End.

A/N2: Would anyone be interested in a Rei/Bryan Oneshot? Let me know.


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